How To Love Oneself

IT is indeed tragic if we underestimate ourselves in achieving our dreams and goals in life. If you’re one of those in the mainstream of life who doesn’t believe that there’s a wellspring within you, that you don’t have the ability and the guts to reach higher the niche of success, then you don’t really love yourself.

In his book, “Self-Love,” Robert H. Schuller has this reminder: “If you often wake up in the morning hating yourself for luck of achievement; if you don’t think much of yourself as a gem-with talent and abilities to do things, then you are not fair to yourself. Get rid of self doubts and instead build a new wave of self-confidence and a new sense of self worth.

Schuller tells a story of a little boy who was given a quarter to spend in any way he choose. Walking through a toy store, the coin burning in his hand, he first fondled a book, then a plastic car, then a bag of balloons. The more he looked and touched, the more confused he became over how to spend his quarter. He just couldn’t make up his mind. Finally, he bought a whistle. He left the store happily blowing the whistle, thrilling to its music. By the he was halfway home, he had grown tired of its sound. Finally, he broke into tears and cried, ‘Why did I buy a whistle? I didn’t want a whistle after all.’ He had spent his money on something he only thought he wanted.”

What then is the implication of the story? Schuller has this analogy: There are many people traveling through life like this. They come mournfully to the end of their lives, unsatisfied, unfulfilled, sadly suspecting that they never found what they really wanted.”

Are you one of those who lack the drive to make things happen because you don’t love yourself? If you are, Schuller offers the following strategies on how to love oneself:

  • Get rid of your fear of failure. Realize that cowardice is more shameful than failure. It is sin to miss the mark. It is a self-disgracing, self-dishonouring, experience to give in to fear or failure and not even strive to succeed. Remember, if you do fail, admit it and start all over again. 
  • Compliment yourself. Start complimenting yourself. You have heard your strong points. Probably you won’t really believe them until you hear yourself spell them out. So start talking out loud: “I am a kind person.” “I am a good worker.” Mention all of the admirable traits and qualities you’ve just heard about yourself. Forgive yourself. Although it may be difficult to keep self-despising memories from coming back to mind, you don’t have to give them a hearty welcome. 
  • Forgive yourself. When you bury the hatchet bury it deep. Give yourself a pat on the shoulder. Stand up straight and tall. Face the sun. smile and once more repeat the affirmation that you are a kind person and that you have forgiven yourself. Accept yourself. If you allow yourself to become disgusted or upset about your unchangeable physical appearance, it will definitely affect the expression of your face. The reverse is also true. 
  • Accept yourself. God made you the way you are because he wanted you to be distinctive. He likes what he created. You should too. 
  • Commit yourself to a great cause. Commit yourself to a cause worth living for. Attach yourself to something bigger than yourself. In involvement you will acquire a sense of belonging. By a commitment to people, projects or causes, you will have an opportunity to assume responsibilities. Responsibility generates self-love, for responsibility fulfils the need to be needed. 
  • Build self-love in others. Forget yourself now and thinking of people around you who think too poorly of themselves. You can give their discouragement, depressed spirits to lift, and in so doing you find even more reason to regard yourself as a person of worth. When that happens, you will know you are truly a worthy person.