What To Do In A Relationship

LIKE precious rare and delicate orchids, relationship needs nurturing. For flowers to bloom and flourish, climatic conditions, soil and light are necessary, so is relationship.

In her book, “Lethal Lovers and Poisonous People,” Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D reveals that in love relationship, positive emotions blossom when both partners determine to be as open and communicative with each other as they are capable of all kinds. Like orchids, love relationship cannot thrive in cold climates. It needs a warm, sometimes even steamy environment to keep the flame of love burning. Warmth can be manifested and expressed through touching, physical affection, smiling, acts of kindness, pats on the back, and sexual intimacy.

An overall attitude of mutual respect is mandatory for healthy emotions to develop in relationships. Respect according to Braiker is shown in numerous ways. For example, mutual respect is demonstrated by listening and valuing each other’s conversation; by taking pride in the accomplishment of each other and of yourself as a couple; and by using language with reference to the other that connotes esteem.

Like a team, three components have to be guarded. Braiker cites: “You, your partner and the relationship itself, “This third dimension-the “us” there.

The most direct way to create or recreate the “us” is to find more ways to overlap each other’s life space. Every individual has areas of activity or engagement in life called his or her “life space” which might include work, leisure activities, social environments, child rearing, family obligations, community participations, and others. By finding ways to intersect these areas of your respective lives, the sense of “us” will emerge.

The basic commitment of time spent together is mandatory for a relationship to blossom. How much time is the right amount, Braiker says that it’s a matter of individual preference and a subject for negotiation between you and your partner. The amount time you will want to spend together is a function of rewarding your relationship. If your time together is miserable neither of you will want to invest much more of it in the relationship. But there’s nothing like taking the first step to increase its positive intensity. It’s really worth the effort.